I touched on this subject in my 2017 Goals video but wanted to expand on the notion of saying no. Since the year began I’ve said no to more things than I’ve said yes and it feels incredibly liberating. Don’t worry, I still say yes to exciting opportunities and collaborations but now I stick to my guns and only do what feels right. It’s hard though. Especially when you know that others are going to say yes to those things and you don’t know where it leads.
One thing I’m done with is being taken advantage of. I’m a nice person (I think?). Not as nice as my husband, but still. I’m very empathetic (I’m a cancer sign) and love to help others. You can see how saying no would be difficult with these qualities. Plus I also think that because I look younger, people try to take advantage of me because I don’t look “experienced”. Whatever that means. I’m going to write a separate post on this whole ‘looking way younger than I actually am’ ordeal but for now, just know that people assume A LOT of things about you.
Coming to the conclusion of no is pretty easy. I trust my gut in telling me if it it feels right or not. It’s the saying no to that’s the tricky part. I don’t want to offend people (hi, empathy) but at the same time I know I have to do what’s best for me. I’ve come to develop a mindset of (and excuse my french) I don’t give a shit. Yes, that’s right. I’m certainly not the first one to introduce that concept but it’s another thing actually implementing it.
When something presents itself, I ask myself the following questions: Is it in any way helping me reach my personal or professional goals? Does it sound like a fulfilling opportunity? Is it worth it? What exactly am I getting out of it?
Now when I craft my ‘no’ message, I don’t feel bad for the other party. I don’t go into lengths as to why I’m saying no or try to make them feel better about my rejection. I’m still cordial and wish them the best but that’s as long as that message gets. I’m done wasting my time on small bullshit that takes up more time and brain space than I care to give.
So how has saying no changed my life? I feel more empowered and confident in myself. I feel more aligned with my goals and purpose. I’m more in tune with myself and ultimately have more time to devote to what matters most to me. With each no it gets easier because you get practice with it. And then when a wonderful opportunity does arise, I’m that much more excited to say yes to it. Do you have any stories or tips about saying no? Tell me in the comments!
Image via deathtostock