This past weekend I’ve thought about the word self sufficiency. There are many things that come to my mind about it so I figured it’s the perfect topic for today’s post. From a young age, I knew I wanted to be self sufficient. And not simply financially speaking. More so in regards to life.
I saw how much my mother relied on other people around her to back her thoughts. Or sway her into a different direction for that matter. She certainly had bursts of confidence. Especially when it came to home related things. She was an excellent cook, took care of our house and tried to create an inviting home. But in many ways her lack of confidence and self-awareness didn’t make her self-sufficient until my parents split. And even after that, she fell back into here old ways as soon as she found new love. In that regard, I knew that I would never wanted to be like her. And I’m not.
I’m bringing this up because I knew from a very young age that I wanted to be strong enough to be on my own. Do my own things without anyone else’s help. Of course I’ve taken a tremendous amount of help from my father, two siblings and Greg. I wouldn’t be where I am without them. But I still consider myself a one woman show and always try to prove others wrong. Who those others are, I don’t know. I’ve always had that fire in me to tackle projects on my own, even when it doesn’t turn out perfect. Especially when it doesn’t turn out perfect.
In middle school we had to design and build our perfect model house. I used card board, different fabrics and made my idea come to life. On presentation night, the parents would go around putting stickers on the ones they liked. My neighbor at the time had a father as an architect. Needless to say his model home looked like a professional model home and next to mine, his certainly looked better. As evil as kids are at that age, other kids made fun of my model house and praised my neighbor’s.
That moment sticks with me because you know what? I at least did everything on my own! I didn’t rely on others to help me, even though I remember my parents offering. I’ve had many other instances where I could have taken help to succeed but I’ve done it on my own just fine. It’s critical to be able to do things on your own. I know my work isn’t perfect or consistent – but at least I do and know how to do things on my own.
Being in a relationship, heck being married, it’s very important to me to stay self sufficient. Greg and I both wear the pants in our relationship. We share responsibilities and both of us always know what’s going on with life’s responsibilities. I choose not to be oblivious to mundane or “boring adult” things. I want to know what’s going on and how things work. When it came to repairing a few things for our house, I literally learned how to install a toilet and what necessary tools are needed to make it easiest for our plumber. I was that woman walking around home depot at 10 am to pick up sheet metal for her dryer vent installation.
Months before I started my blog, I took an 8 week adult learning course on how WordPress works. I also took a 8 week course introduction into HTML coding because I figured it’d be helpful. And boy did it come in handy when I installed my theme on my own and did all the tech stuff. I mostly take my own photography, do my own photo editing and of course writing! That’s not groundbreaking news compared to other blogs. But it still deserves the recognition of it being self sufficient.
My youtube videos aren’t consistent in lighting or white balance. Trust me, I know. But at least I do everything on my own and have the passion to keep going. Figure things out. Adjust settings and eventually upgrade my lighting. I like seeing my progression. My growth. I’ve always believed that starting something is better than not starting it at all. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people not posting something because it’s not where they want it to be. When will it be?
Sure, I’ve got some not so great blog posts or videos out there. But at least I did something that I thought at the time had substance. I’m critical enough of my work to realize when it wasn’t my best work after all. I can only grow from the things I’ve done. Not the things I haven’t done. Life would certainly be easier if Greg was a professional photographer, ha! But he isn’t. He isn’t even on social media and doesn’t care for it.
I’m not saying that I don’t ask for help. But if it’s something within possibility to do on my own, then I will. Taking fashion photos of myself is pretty hard so I hire a photographer sometimes. Or, if I promise to buy him coffee, Greg will get behind the camera for me. I’m also not discrediting those that choose to hire or take help. As my business grows I’ll certainly entertain the possibilities of hiring help. But I’m nowhere near that and as far as I’m concerned, I can do everything on my own until then. That’s self sufficiency to me.
Photo: Emma Weiss Photo
Style Info: This post